I’m going back to school!?!?

Avatar Dr. T | July 3, 2017 132 Views 0 Likes 5 On 1 Rating

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Have you ever taken time to think about what you really want out of life? I mean really taken time to be still?

Well, last September, I got all the time I needed when I, along with a bunch of my colleagues, were downsized. 

My life has always been busy taking care of someone else. Hey, I’m not complaining because I am damn good at taking care of business. That’s fo’ sho’. Problem is…I’ve never stopped to take care of me though. So, when I had all this new time on my hands and new decisions to be made, I had a simultaneous burst of energy and fear. 

What if I made the wrong decision? I could be dooming my family to a bitter life of no cable TV, Internet nor, God forbid, Netflix! A life where we would have to hunt for our food and stand on the road side with cardboard signs that read “my mama chose wrong. Please help us!” 

Or, even worse…I could take a job based solely on the money and be ridiculously unhappy like I had been for the last 10 years prior to my layoff. If I’m being honest, I had been waiting at least 9 years for that fateful call so that I would have time on my side. I needed to find my happy and I needed to quickly!

Speaking of happiness, I’ve been taking care of people for so long, I never stopped to figure out what makes me happy. That is until my little stint of joblessness. While others were afraid and crying about our layoff, I was ecstatic. It was as if the caged bird was set free, but didn’t yet know how to sing. I was looking forward to discovering my song. 

But, what do you do when you have no idea where to begin? I started on my knees. I’m not really good at praying. Heck, I’m so far gone sometimes, I fall asleep mid – Dear, Father. I think He understands though because I still feel Him when I need Him most. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not a religious person, but I am filled with the spirit. So when it guides me, I follow faithfully until we get to a destination. Sadly, I figured out late in life that that’s how it was supposed to work because I struggled while trying to forge my own path. I learned a lot, but I got ate up too! 

So, here I am. Following the spirit inside of me. I’m going back to school! 

Wait…what? You’re asking yourself…didn’t you already go as far as you could? Well…yes and no. You see, I have a terminal degree (sounds like the degree is dying huh?) But I don’t have all I want to learn in my brain yet. There is so much I never explored because I was either discouraged from it or I was just flat out scared. 

It all started when I took my girls to see “Hidden Figures” and something awoke in me. So much so I couldn’t sleep. Then, I realized that I’m not happy or sure of myself like Katherine from the movie because I never let my mind go the places it wanted to go. 

I’d always controlled my nerd for fear of being discovered. So, with all this happening and time on my side I began searching for a coding school and came across the Nashville Software School. I applied, they liked my answers which all referenced Harry Potter of course, I interviewed and I got in! 

I start on Wednesday! Six months of coding hell! I’ll be forged by the fire with hopes of coming out alive on the other side. 

Here’s the deal…I’m always talking about embracing your mission and doing what makes you happy. Seize the day! Be rather than seem, blah, blah, blah. And while I was doing what needed to be done to survive, I was only surviving. I wasn’t breathing! 

How can I encourage others to be who they were meant to be and deny myself an essential part of who I want to be? It’s time to free my inner nerd and be myself. For so long I’ve been wearing a mask so that others could be comfortable with my presence. In September of 2016 I decided that enough was enough because when it comes down to it, life and the goodness of it will be determined by me and me alone. Only got one life, make it worth it! 

I’m sure a month from now I’ll be gnashing my teeth asking myself what the hell was I thinking, but nothing worth doing has ever been easy. In six months, I’ll have done for myself what I wasn’t able to do in 10 years of higher education: find happiness. Wish me luck!

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Dr. T

Hello! I am Dr. T, developer and educator, who helps learners embrace their missions by activating their developer superhero within! You are the hero who you have been waiting for.

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This post currently has one response.

  1. Kathy Creel

    July 3, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    Thank you for the transparency and inspiration! Amen to finding AND embracing your mission. Celebrate your nerd, sister!

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